Lent

I'm not a Catholic these days, but I used to be one and I think they do a bang-up job most of the time. So, in the spirit of the Lenten season, I like to give something up. It's a good chance to give a little punch in the pants to whatever you've resolved to do from New Year's, too. Sometimes I give up something tangible, like coffee (bad idea), and sometimes it's just a notion of sorts--like giving up telling stupid people to fuck off.

A few years ago, I decided to give up trying to change people. It was my New Year's resolution, too. I also wished for it on stars, birthday candles (mine and other people's), lucky pennies, eyelashes, you name it. I figured I could use the help. It's still a conscious effort most of the time. I figure it's all part of being a better person, and I do want to be a better person. So, ultimately it's selfish. I'm not doing it for you!

I find that most of my run-ins and irritations with the folks I interact with stem from my desire for them to either a) stop doing something I don't like, but totally expect them to do, b) start doing something I do like, but is completely out of their character to do, or c) quit saying/doing something I don't like, didn't expect, and can't tolerate. C is pretty uncommon.

It's hard for me to completely accept people for who they are. I want everyone to be honest, to be respectful, to be kind to each other, but that doesn't always happen. If I can accept that the people in my life will continue doing A and B, because that's who they are, I'm less angry 2/3rds of the time. I feel better, people feel accepted, and I have all that unused anger to really focus on the people doing C.